“We take life for granted.”
“I wish you were never born
You’re just a waste of money
No one will ever love you”
Those were her last words when I stormed into my room
The thing is, you never know your lasts:
Your last embrace
Your last message
Your last breath
Head turning, looking both ways
My trembling foot kisses the pavement
No school lesson can teach me the sickening sound of a bone crunching
No textbook can properly describe the feeling of three tons of metal embracing my chest
Never have I felt so weightless, yet so chained to the Earth
My body went up with the bottle and down with the beer
Sirens serenading final moments as a chorus of my mom rings in my ears
I’m sorry I was born, but you won’t have to deal with me anymore
Shuffling uncomfortably behind the desk, eyes fixate upon the clock
Hailing myself to the God, dictating my every action and meal
Click! The speaker turns on and we all look up to the ceiling as if God is talking to us
Saugus is on lockdown, there is an active shooter on campus!
It is not God talking to us, only the melancholic voice of the Grim Reaper
Gazing down to my phone, the contact ‘Mom’ glows
Yet, my trembling fingers press the power button watching the name flicker into darkness
Door widens-- oh, it’s the gates of Hell-- and I see my final demise
Since when did bullet holes become more common than potholes?
Now you can use your money for that trip to Europe you always wanted
As if this is some twisted theater rehearsal, I look down upon my checklist
Pulling out the envelope from my jacket like a magician
This is my final disappearing act
I stand upon a chair-- my throne of desolation-- searching for a reason
This decision really hangs me up as I chicken out numerous times
However, I decide to give the people what they want
A last form of amusement and entertainment
The fibers scratch my neck red, slowly taking away my breath
I really am a noose-ance, aren’t I?
You’re right that no one will ever love me, hell, my mom couldn’t
Eulogy in hand, she can’t hold back her tears
Voice hoarse from the incessant sobs, she curses out to the world
Because her precious baby was taken under her protection
Because she’ll never see the type of adult I would come to be
Because I defined her title of “mom”, only to have it ripped away
Finally gaining the courage to speak
She screams into the microphone as the wave of tears overcomes her
I love you
However, I sit in my coffin thinking
Why didn’t you say you loved me, before it was too late?
