When my six-year-old sister visited my house, she immediately fell in love with the #iamenough sign I drew and hung in my bedroom. With wide eyes she asked, “Can you make me a sign? I want to see that same thing everyday!”

For her upcoming birthday, I painted a light pink sign for her with a letter attached. In it I told her that she is intelligent. She is brave. She is funny. She is beautiful. And she is enough, just how she is. 

I expected her to be happy. Instead she quietly revealed, “These are exactly the kinds of things I need to hear because of the kids at my school. They make fun of my skin and say my hair is funny. I didn’t want to wear my hair like this [in an afro] tomorrow.” We talked about what she was experiencing, and decided to hang the sign in a place where she would see it as soon as she woke up every morning. 

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You can find every beautiful shade of brown in my family. And my mother has always emphasized the beauty in natural curls. My sister lives in a loving home where her culture is celebrated and her strengths are praised. Yet this is not enough to counteract the negative messages she hears in the world everyday. In her first week of kindergarten, her enthusiasm for school was squashed when the other kids told her she “didn’t have the right skin” to play “family” with them. And even within our home, there have been times where she wished to have my skin as I am several shades lighter.

As hard as we might try, we can’t insulate our children from the nastiness of the world. They will experience bullying, colorism, homophobia, and sexism. But what we can do is create a space for open dialogue, where they feel safe enough to discuss their feelings and experiences. And no matter how young they are, we can teach them the meaning of self-care and self-love. We can teach them that they are enough.